Adventures of a Mr. Mom – Oy Vey

Cover of "Mr. Mom"My wife refers to me as an “all-in” kind of dad… I think that what she means by that is that I am willing to change diapers! She is right about that, and each time I have to change a diaper while out of the house, I feel a lot like Michael Keaton in Mr. Mom… 30 years after that movie premiered, being a “Mr. Mom” still has its challenges.

Recently, we went on a family outing to a dinosaur exhibit – shortly after arriving at our destination, Moose needed a new diaper. Being the awesome father that I am, took him to get changed while Dianna dealt with everything else. At home, this would be no big deal – but when you are out, you just never know if you are going to find a changing table in the men’s room or not.

When I realized there was no changing table in this particular men’s room, I tried to improvise. I stood him up in the sink thinking I could change him standing up… I’ve heard rumors that it can be done. Standing him in the sink seemed to make sense since standing him on the ground would have resulted in him making a beeline for the nearest toilet.

But, when I reached into my pocket for the diaper, he reached down and turned on the sink. So, now, not only did he have a stinky, dirty diaper, but his pants, shoes and socks are soaking wet.

I knew I had to try something else – so, I asked a lady if there was a changing table in the women’s room. Based on the look on her face, I believe she thought I was going to ask her to change Moose for me – she ran rapidly away after saying there was.

My choices: chase Dianna through the Jurassic age or try to find a family restroom. I decided to look for a family restroom. I wandered around and asked some employees if there was a family restroom – but they did not know of one.
One employee suggested we use the changing table in the women’s room and have the deputy sheriff working the event stand guard for us.

We decided to go for it – we asked another lady if she would make sure that the women’s room was empty. The coast was clear, so a-changing we would go.

With an armed guard, Max got a clean diaper. It was awesome, and probably the most excitement the deputy got all day. Throughout the rest of the day, I think he purposely tried to avoid us by walking in the opposite direction every time we got near.

When we caught up with everyone, I handed off the little guy to Aunt Vicki, who gave me a look and said, “Uh, why is he soaking wet?” She then handed him to Dianna, who gave the “uh, what the heck happened?” look.
To end the day, Ike got to ask, “What happened when you went into the ladies room? Did all the ladies say ‘Eeeeeeeek, there’s a man in here?”

They really need to start putting changing tables in the men’s rooms, too!!

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Comments

  1. Bubbie Becky says

    If a woman came along and dashed past the security guard (maybe she really had to go badly) and went in, would she have been arrested? Punished and made to go in the men’s room where there was no guard on duty? Things are so complicated these days. Agreed, there should of course be a changing table in the men’s room.

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